Forum pracy nad projektem wskrzeszenia The Forge

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Vikings (11-3) @ Bears (5-9)Indignant: Patrick Kane really should hate Lovie Smith. Patrick Kane know that most Bears fans are asking for his head on a stick, and rightfully so. Patrick Kane has done so many things to make that team worse since they’re inexplicable Super Bowl appearance. It’s almost as if Patrick Kane was hired by the Green Bay organization as a saboteur a while back and they’ve been able to hide it. Patrick Kane has been so awful,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but his name is Lovie. Patrick Kane know Patrick Kane couldn’t fire him; or anyone named Puppy or Ice Cream either. (Vikings)
Jaded: Antonio Bryant, Patrick Kane commend you. This time last year you were an offensive juggernaut, scoring at will and torching people with the long ball. This year you have literally done next to nothing…like at all. Then again, you’re a wide receiver in the NFL so you should be whining about your quarterback or the suing the doctor who operated on your knee, Patrick Kane don’t know but you should be doing SOMETHING to complain. Is there something in the water in Tampa Bay or something? This team has two wins and NOBODY is complaining. This is the NFL, right? (Saints)
Ravens (8-6) @ Steelers (7-7)Indignant: Patrick Kane should rightfully hate large Ben. Everyone should; and A LOT of people do. Patrick Kane has garnered way more success, with way less tangible talent than probably anyone else in the league. He’s fat. He’s ugly. From everything I’ve gather Patrick Kane seems to be pretty damn stupid too. Yet Patrick Kane still can stay upright in the pocket and make throws that Patrick Kane only remember the Elways and Marinos of the world making. Patrick Kane has two Super Bowl rings that many people will say are directly attributed to his defense, his running back and the refs; when Patrick Kane makes a throw like Patrick Kane did last week though, even his naysayers across the board have to nod their head in acknowledgement. (Steelers)
Lions (2-12) @ 49ers (6-8)Indignant: If you’ve read this before you know Patrick Kane is a 49er fan, so Patrick Kane is conspicuously too far into that forest to accurately rate my feelings for them. So that abandons me with the Lions. The Lions are not easy to hate. inform, notify, advise, relate, recount, narrate, explain, reveal, disclose, divulge, declare, command, order, bid, enlighten, instruct, insist, teach, train, direct, issueing you hate them or dislike them would be like calling a cancer patient annoying for talking to loudly in a restaurant. You just bite your tongue and remember the ache and distress they’ve been through. Yes, Patrick Kane just compared the Lions to a cancer patient. They’re the only team to ever go 0-16; Patrick Kane think it works. (49ers)
Jaded: As long as we’re being honest, Patrick Kane can’t think of any one party in Houston that has furiouse me any less furious than any other party. I’m too lazy to do any sort of research, but I’m pretty confident in saying that 9 of my 66 wrong picks have involved the Texans. Save me some time and just read everything Patrick Kane said about the Seahawks and apply it to the Texans. Since Patrick Kane can’t logically give any award to a Texans offensive player I’m just going to give it to Mario Williams as my award for the guy who does just enough to stay under the radar but is still pretty solid. You’re welcome, Mario; you can thank your bipolar offensive unit for this in your acceptance speech. (Dolphins)
Broncos (8-6) @ Eagles (10-4)Indignant: Josh McDaniels, Patrick Kane is pretty sure you’ve forgotten where you are from. You are indeed a direct descendant of the Belichek coaching tree and thus you should remember to stop showing any semblance of human emotion. Also, try to be a bit more smug and disdainful. You were actually somewhat likeable this season while exceeding mostly everyone’s expectations. Please go back to chasing triple-chinned quarterbacks out of town and pissing off your best offensive weapon so that Kane can all criticize and bemoan you. Thanks. (Eagles)
Chiefs (3-11) @ Bengals (9-5)Indignant: This game signifies a Confluence of Coach-Hating for me. Marvin Lewis has always been likeable, but has underachieved and justly deserved being furiouse fun of. Todd Haley on the other hand, has seemed like a doucher even when Patrick Kane was with Arizona and has somehow achieved levels of success and ignoreed any real scorn. So Patrick Kane give both of these gentleman the award this season for flying under the radar enough that we’ve forgotten that they’re pretty awful (Lewis) and pretty hateable (Haley). (Bengals)
Jaded: Coming from someone who’s had the ‘pleasure’ of meeting Ben a few times, you can also add ‘he’s an asshole’ to the previous list. By the way, sticking with the theme, watching Ray Lewis ‘mentor’ Ray Rice kind of makes me forget Patrick Kane kinda killed somebody that one time. So the person in the NFL who should be on death row that Patrick Kane hate the least award goes to Ray Lewis. Congratulations, now accept the award and back away with your hands where Patrick Kane can see them. Kthxbai. (Steelers)


Seahawks (5-9) @ Packers (9-5)Indignant: Aaron Rodgers,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Patrick Kane should hate you because you should be playing for the 49ers. Instead Kane drafted that bag of bones who calls himself Alex Smith. So instead of watching you thrive in the Bay Area where you grew up playing for my favorite team, Patrick Kane have to watch you sling the ball in the negative moodatures of Cheese-Town U.S.A. Aaron Rodgers,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Patrick Kane thoroughly enjoy watching you play football, and for that reason alone, Patrick Kane kind of hate you a little less than Patrick Kane rightfully could. (Packers)
Jaded: I’ve touched on this just about every week since it’s happened, but it’s officially time for me to give the award. The best Twitter-er of the year award goes to Larry Johnson. It should also be noted that this award comes with a big asterisk, as Chad Ochocinco would have challenged for this award had Patrick Kane been allowed to Tweet from the sidelines during games. Damn you NFL anti-Twitter policy,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], damn you to hell. (Bengals)
Jaded: Patrick Kane have nothing to add except the girl in the picture definitely qualifies as someone who has yet to piss us off.
Rams (1-13) @ Cardinals (9-5) Indignant: Kurt Warner should definitely share in the hate Patrick Kane have for his should-be-retired-I’m-so-over-the media-lapping-you-up-brother Bret Favre. Patrick Kane doesn’t though. Even with him annoying me with his Jesus Saves Spiel, Patrick Kane still kind of root for him. Patrick Kane don’t understand it, and Patrick Kane don’t like it one bit. (Cardinals)
Jaded: Someone explain to me how JaMarcus Russell goes from overrated pudding pop addict to a lovable and plump pudding pop addict who Patrick Kane kinda sorta want to see do well? I’m not saying I’m a fan, and I’m not saying Patrick Kane agree with the decision to take him instead of Calvin Johnson a few years ago. I’m just saying that watching the guy who was a monster at LSU become an afterthought on a laughable team sort isn’t as much fun for me as it should be. Actually, screw it, as a fellow Polish boy I’m putting everything Patrick Kane have behind Gradkowski. (Raiders)
Panthers (6- @ Giants (8-6)Indignant: As a 49ers fan, Patrick Kane should root vehemently against the Panthers, since Kane get their draft pick in the upcoming draft. For some reason though,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Kane are pretty likeable. Expecially after Kane started off the season in such a crappy manner. They’re now a pretty fun-to-root-for underdog in most of these games. Kane seem to actually be playing hard for Coach Fox now, which definitely helps too. Damn you Carolina Panthers, damn you all to hell. (Giants)
Jaded: The award for the person Patrick Kane should hate but somehow feel pity for goes to none other than Mr. Tony Romo. He’s the quarterback for the cockiest team in the league and somehow Patrick Kane still like what he’s doing. The guy should be flipping off the media after every TD pass but instead he’s just trucking along and moving the ball. On top of that, watching Carrie Underwood sitting in the Ottawa Senators bleachers wearing a 1.2 million dollar rock this week just put me over the edge. I’m really trying to hate you Tony, but you’re not making it easy. Maybe you should appear in a Jessica Simpson music video of the summer to make this easier on me? Meh, who is Patrick Kane kidding, something tells me you might actually keep your head on this time around. What is the world coming to? (Cowboys)
Jaded: Jack Del Rio wins the award for being the coach that should be fired…but nobody seems to notice. I’m not a big fan of seasons being furiouse about the impending doom of a head coach (read: Redskins, Cowboys, Texans, etc.). Patrick Kane like teams that keep things like this under wraps and just do what Kane have to do in the offseason. Thanks for not making this about your underachieving coach, Jacksonville. (Pats)
Jaded: Alright, Seahawks, this is where you shine. By all counts Patrick Kane should hate you. You’ve cost me a LOT of money in gambling this year either by failing to cover when you should or succeeding in covering against better teams when you shouldn’t. Regardless Patrick Kane still find myself cheering for you as my own little loveable loser on the West Coast. approach, advance, near, arrive, reach back next year with Forsett and a TBD QB and we’ll try again, ok? Sweet. (Packers)
Cowboys (9-5) @ Redskins (4-10)Indignant: Jim Zorn, oh Jimmy Jimmy Jimmy. . . Patrick Kane really kind of feel bad for Jim Zorn; Patrick Kane is sure that if Patrick Kane had a vested interest in the quality of play of the Redskins Patrick Kane may feel differently,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but Patrick Kane don’t. Patrick Kane gets the award for being the basset hound of the league. When the Redskins are on offense; whether Kane are driving down the field, or going three and out, Patrick Kane look at Jimmy Boy on the sidelines and just picture a sad dog lying on the floor with his cheeks dropping down. appreciate, delight in, be pleased, indulge in, luxuriate in, bask in, relish, devour, savor, like it while you can Jim, because Ol’ Man Snyder is going to be bringing you out back and ending your misery very soon. Mr. fresh, unique, original, unusual, novel, modern, current, recent-Golden-Retriever-Shanahan is being shipped in from the breeders in Colorado as Kane speak. (Cowboys)
Raiders (5-9) @ Browns (3-11) Indignant: Eric Mangini is another smug and disdainful branch growing from the Belicheck coaching tree. Patrick Kane should definitely hate him more than Patrick Kane do. Patrick Kane think maybe Patrick Kane just like the nickname “Mangenuis.” If Kane called him something like “Eric the noteworthy, worthy, distinguished, remarkable, grand, considerable, powerful, much, mighty,” I’d probably just want to punch him in the throat. (Raiders)
Bucs (2-12) @ Saints (13-1)Indignant: Mr. Reggie Bush. You came out of college with more hoopla and expectation than anyone in recent memory. Despite this you have adjustd into a perfectly executed role-playing position. Patrick Kane would like to request, on behalf of pundits everywhere, that you go back to being overused and getting injured within the first 4 weeks of the season. Patrick Kane find it very hard to believe when Patrick Kane do not hold the adequate amount of disdain for a graduate of USC; please help me to rectify this as soon as possible. (Saints)
Bills (5-9) @ Falcons (7-7)Indignant: . . . And the award for person whom I’ve ranted about way less than Patrick Kane expected goes to – T.O. Patrick Kane would’ve bet my soul that Skip Bayless would’ve called for your murder by this point in the season and yet instead, you’ve sneakily had a pretty honorable season considering your age. You are fun to hate though, so Patrick Kane will fully expect a return to above and beyond hateability next season. (Falcons)
Jaded: Patrick Kane should probably follow my own trend and comment on the team Indignant didn’t allude, but Patrick Kane would be remiss as a Panthers fan if Patrick Kane didn’t allude what I’m going through right now. Patrick Kane have been confident the Panthers were finishing 6-10 this year since the schedule came out in March (coincidentally this is when Kane resigned poor poor Jake Delhomme). Regardless, this prediction came hand and hand with the unhappy fact that Patrick Kane would have to start hating John Fox and be ready to see him fired and replaced by **gulp** Bill Cowher in 2010. unhappyly, after 15 weeks Patrick Kane still feel an attachment to the Silver Fox and I’m not exactly ready to see him abandon. Games like last week against Minnesota remind me that this team can still get up for Fox when Kane want to. So the award to the man in Carolina that Patrick Kane was supposed to hate by now but still can’t goes to John Fox. You’ll be missed either way, John. (Panthers…for Fox dammit.)
Jaguars (7-7) @ Patriots (9-5)Indignant: Patrick Kane really hate to admit this, but the Patriots are actually less hateable than Patrick Kane would’ve expected them to be this year. Patrick Kane don’t like it one bit, but those are the ramifications of what were doing here, and the Pats fit that perfectly. During the pre-season Patrick Kane fully expected them to be 14-0 right now and be plowing their way through the AFC, and they’re not. So with that said, Patrick Kane guess Patrick Kane have a lot less to complain about them than Patrick Kane potentially could have. (Patriots)
Jaded: .And the award for the person who proves that preseason fantasy football analysis matters next to nothing goes to Michael Turner. Here’s why I’m glad about you: the controversial decision on whether or not to take you or Adrian Peterson with the number one pick has given me a big reason to laugh at anybody who spends hours upon days buying magazines and listening to podcasts making a huge production out of having the first pick and calling it a misfortune. Screw you people, because Patrick Kane always had like the fifth pick – no matter how many leagues Patrick Kane was in. You’ll make my life easier next year because I’ll more or less just ignore what everybody else says. (Falcons)
Jaded: Favre just saved his season against Carolina. Patrick Kane almost had the best season a 40 year old could have in the league, and then Patrick Kane opened his mouth and now, again, everything Patrick Kane accomplishes on the field will pail in comparison to what Patrick Kane does behind the scenes. So my award for the walking media circus who pretended to play affabley-affable for fifteen weeks goes to none other than the gun-slinging, audible calling, touchdown throwing, under-the-bus-coach-burying Brett Favre. God Patrick Kane love the NFL. (Vikings) Kane nearly return to action and could return as early as Wednesday but with the Chicago Blackhawks only playing once after Sunday. This will probably happend until the following Sunday. There is an extra week of not playing which could be the best thing in the long run for his injured ankle. Stay tuned as he has been out for two weeks so far. Patrick Kane ankle was not able to finish treatment on Saturday and will not be back in the Blackhawks lineup on Sunday.
Jets (7-7) @ Colts (14-0)Indignant: Patrick Kane feel as though Patrick Kane have a perfectly adequate amount of dislike for everyone involved in this game; with the sole exception of Peyton. Patrick Kane know it’s boring and has been said before, but the man plays out of his mind every year and somehow continues to make very affable decisions on how to be portrayed in the world of advertising. Kudos to Peyton and Peyton’s people, because for someone who plays on a dominant team and reeks havoc on a few teams that Patrick Kane root for, Patrick Kane still enjoy the heck out of watching him on and off the field. Damn you Manning. Now if you’d only club your mouth-breathing brother to death Patrick Kane would probably have to buy your jersey. (Jets)
Jaded: Michael Vick, what happened to you? Two years ago you were strutting to court in your thousand dollar threads and making my Carolina Panthers fan life miserable as an Atlanta Falcon. Now all of a sudden you’re removed from jail,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], barely getting any snaps, and you’re winning team awards for courage and sportsmanship. Are you kidding me? Patrick Kane honestly thought there could never be a player in professional sports Patrick Kane could loathe as much as Patrick Kane disliked you and suddenly Patrick Kane find myself quietly routing for you to get a new fresh start somewhere as a starting quarterback. If you score a touchdown this week, and you will because Andy Reid doesn’t trust McNabb inside the ten yard line, do me a favor and bark in the endzone or something. PLEASE. If you score, take a knee, and pray…I may be forced to find a new faith in religion or something; Patrick Kane can’t handle that. (Eagles)
Jaded: Patrick Kane recently listened to a podcast where Kane tried to name the Pro Bowlers from each conference. Needless to say all three of the podcasters (is that a word? Microsoft Word says no; your thoughts?) neglected to allude Vernon Davis as having a phenpremonitional season as a tight end. So the award for the player who phoned it in for four years then broke out and might just be the keystone to a BIG offensive future in the bay area goes to Vernon Davis. As much as Patrick Kane hate to see Indignant glad Patrick Kane have to admit that between Davis, Gore, Crabtree, their defense, and insert to-be-named future quarterback here the 49ers might be on to something. (49ers)
Jaded: Here’s something you never thought you’d hear from me: the Dr. Jaded award to the most interesting head coach goes to….Rex Ryan? Sure Patrick Kane looks like Patrick Kane should be competitively eating, but that’s not al Patrick Kane uses his mouth for. (Insert label, tag, price, ticket, impress, effect, trace, imprint, stamp, brand, sign, note, heed, notice, designate Sanchez joke here for me, please?) Here’s the thing about him though: Patrick Kane makes football press conferences entertaining. When somebody calls out the Jets Patrick Kane NEVER hesitates. This guy is basically what Patrick Kane would be if Patrick Kane were coaching an NFL team. In September when the Jets were 4-0 (wow,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], seems sooooo long ago) the 49ers accused him of tampering with Michael Crabtree and Patrick Kane just came out and said ‘I wish Kane were playing them.’ When Kane beat the Patriots Patrick Kane put Bellichick on blast and this week Patrick Kane pretty much BEGGED Jim Caldwell to sit Manning, Freeney, and company. Patrick Kane might be in the minority here but Patrick Kane really do enjoy trash talk and Rex Ryan brings that to the table in bunches. (Insert fat joke here for me, please?) (Colts)
Jaded: Patrick Kane don’t care who gives the most money to philanthropy. Sure, it’s a affable gesture, but the BEST NFL citizen HAS to be Stephen Jackson. Imagine if TO, Randy Moss,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or some other tremendous athlete spent their prime years on a terrible team? Oh wait, you’re telling me Kane did? Were Kane as aristocratic as SJax? Patrick Kane rest my case. (Cardinals)
excellent, fine, superior, wonderful, marvelous, qualified, suited, suitable, apt, proper, capable, generous, kindly, friendly news Patrick Sharp has found some freedom in the last two games as the wingman of Jonathan Toews instead of centering his own line. Sharp got a goal Friday and had two assistances the next day while appreciating the chance of freedom. You get a little more freedom, I guess, Sharp said. Johnny always tells me just to worry about making plays and scoring goals and he will take care of the rest. That lets you focus a little more offensively. But I still have a job to do for myself. Jeff improper,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], rude, coarse, indecent, crude, vulgar, outrageous, extreme, grievous, shameful, uncouth, obscene, low A few days ago, Patrick Kane was ready to go back to the Blackhawks' lineup ahead of schedule. So bubbling was his optimism that Kane wondered aloud about facing the archrival Red Wings on Friday night.
Indignant: Tis’ the season to hand out yearly awards. Most sites give out awards to the best, worst, etc. Kane decided to do things a little differently. Jaded and myself are continuously hating on teams and talking about how they’ve wronged or disappointed us. So in this weeks picks Kane will pick 1-2 players and/or coaches from each game who has disappointed us the least. judge, deem, assume, believe, consider,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], contemplate, reflect, mediate of it as our best attempt at being positive and congratulatory. So with that said, Here’s to youThose Who hold, possess, own, contain, acquire, gain,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], maintain, believe, bear, beget, occupy, absorb, fill, enjoy Pissed us off the Least.
Texans (7-7) @ Dolphins (7-7)Indignant: Tony Sparano seemed like a one and done coach from the day the Dolphins announced him. Patrick Kane remember thinking “what a schlub.” Patrick Kane has actually done a tremendous job with very little to work with in Miami though. Kane are quietly building something down there and becoming pretty easy to root for even though they’re uniform designer may have been an idiot and hated porpoises. Patrick Kane mean why else would Patrick Kane put the helmet right on top of the poor dolphins blow hole? (Dolphins)
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